Posted by: commissioner | September 4, 2009

We’ve Moved To Private Hosting…

Fantasy UnSports has moved.

Click here to be automatically taken to its permanent location.

Hey everyone.  If you can see this post, then you probably have an old bookmark or link.  Due to the deluge of traffic and sign-ups that followed the press we got from The Shutdown Corner, we’ve had to purchase more standard hosting.

That means we can handle more traffic.  It also means we can use our main domain name, which is

Annnnnd… we can do some more customization to the design and sidebar of the site.

So it’s a win/win for everyone… except people who have the old domain bookmarked.  Sorry for the inconvenience… you can now find Fantasy UnSports here.  Remember to update your bookmarks!  Thanks for playing!

Posted by: commissioner | September 3, 2009

Welcome New Players… And A Challenge

xboxWelcome to all our new players!

And… a hearty thanks to MJD over at Yahoo’s Shutdown Corner blog.  One simple mention from him and we had more traffic in 6 hours than the previous two months combined.  Thanks, MJD! (seriously, if you don’t read his stuff, but you love the NFL… you should be reading his stuff).

And now for the challenge: I need your help promoting this thing.  We currently have about 55 registered players (out of a few thousand who visited).  That’s pretty good.  That’ll be a good, fun little game.

But I still think it’s a better experience if we can get a few hundred.  So I thought I’d put my money where my mouth is.  If you guys can use Facebook, Twitter, email, your blog or Tumblr, word of mouth–heck, Pony Express–to get us up over 300 registered players… then I’ll plunk down my own money to make the grand prize something worth fighting for:  a brand new gaming system of your choice (Xbox 360, Playstation 3, or Wii).  How’s that for sweet?

tvIf we get over 500, I’ll make it a flat screen TV at least 30 inches.  Sound good?

But I have to put some sort of deadline on it… So let’s say by September 20th.  That gives us 17 days from today.  We’re shooting for at least 300 players by September 20th.

Posted by: commissioner | September 3, 2009

Usama Young Skips Court, Commits 20 Point PQE

speedingUsama Young got pulled over for speeding, and he would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for those meddling bench warrants.  Seems Mr. Young failed to appear in court on a previous charge (for parking illegally), so the officer that stopped him for speeding had no choice but to arrest him.

Poor guy.  All we read is “Usama Young Arrested,” but it’s for, like, two of the most harmless things an NFL player can get in trouble for… speeding and parking illegally.  I mean, it’s not like he was out drunk driving and running over people.

Anyway, in Fantasy UnSports Land… this offense is worth 20 points–or rather… it would be if our season had already started.  It starts Sunday, September 6th, by the way.

Posted by: commissioner | September 2, 2009

Players Continue To Provide Tons Of Fodder For Our Little Game

We’re a few days away from the kick-off date for Fantasy UnSports–the actual scoring begins Sunday, September 6, 2009–and players continue to prove how right we were about the number of off-the-field incidents that come out of the NFL.  Here’s just a sampling of the Point Qualifying Events (PQE’s) that have occurred this week:

Culpepper Attacked By Carpet – 40

Dante Culpepper somehow injured himself on the carpet in his home… and injury that required 8 stitches.  Why do I get the feeling we’re not getting the whole story here?  40 points for a non-sports-related injury.

Brett Favre Thugs It Up – 15

Favre isn’t really known for vicious crackback blocks–or, I should say, he wasn’t known for them until Monday.  Now he’s known for them.  And fined for them.  15 points for getting the fine.

Osi Goes Off The Deep End – 20

Umenyiora got in a fight with his coach and thought the best resolution was to skip practice.  Oops.  Now he’s the most apologetic man in sports.  20 for the fight with his coach, but I need to add a note about skipping practices to the Points page.

Accidental Andre – 30

Andre Smith, after holding out for weeks, finally signed with the team that drafted him in the first round… the Cincinatti Bengals.  Too bad he immediately got injured and will be out for weeks.  Doh!  Wonder if poor conditioning and not being in football shape played a role?  30 points for a football-related injury.

Okay, kids.  We’re taking sign ups throughout the entire season.  With the unpredictable NFL, we think even people who sign up once the season is underway still have a shot to win Fantasy UnSports.  All it takes is a PQE with a high point value to put you in contention.

Tell your friends to sign up.  Five minutes to sign up, then the maintenance is done.  You can sit back for 18 weeks and read my snarky summaries of the stupid things NFL players are guaranteed to do this season.

And now, for your viewing enjoyment… the Brett Favre Is A Tough Guy Crackback Block Video:

Posted by: commissioner | September 1, 2009

Fantasy UnSports About To Begin – Tell Your Friends

Howdy Fantasy UnSports players!

Our season kicks off in just a few days (yes, I know the deadline keeps moving).  Saturday, September 5th, 2009, is the final deadline for NFL roster cuts, meaning each NFL team must be down to their 53-man roster by or on that day.

That means our little game begins the following day, Sunday, September 6th.

And guess what… we’ve decided not to close registration after the season begins.  We figured… what the heck.  Why not allow players to sign up and compete all throughout the season.  If they pick the right teams and individuals for their Fantasy UnSports roster… they might score enough points to contend regardless of when they started playing.

But we need your help.  We still have a few slots open–okay, many slots open–and we need you NFL gossip-hounds to pound the digital pavement for us and stump for more players.  Take to your Twitter.  Fly to your Facebook.  Energize your Email.  We are the only fantasy football game that lets you score points for all the crazy antics the players get up to off the football field.  Tell your friends about Fantasy UnSports today!

Posted by: commissioner | August 19, 2009

Holy Huge Week In Fantasy UnSports Action, Batman!

Wow… this would have been a great week for our little game to actually commence, at least in terms of massive amounts of Point Qualifying Events.  I’ll try and hit most of the highlights below, but there’s been more off-the-field ridiculousness in the last week than I can possibly cover right now.  Here goes:

Vick to Eagles.

Kind of surprised that Vick would go to the team whose fans booed Santa Claus.  Have to believe there will be some grief given at the early home games.  Vick signing isn’t a PQE in and of itself.  However, his suspension for the first six games of the season counts for 20 Points.

Raiders Coach Boxing Match

The allegations are that Raiders head coach Tom Cable punched an assistant coach in the face.  The team has denied it, using a number of wildly different explanations, which almost certainly means it happened.  And I’m not sure why a coach should be protected from this crap.  If a player did it… he’d be fined and probably suspended.  The coach is just allowed to lie and get away with it?  Either way, Cable’s tantrum would earn you 20 Points had our season started (tantrum/fight at practice).

Brett Favre A Viking

Who’s surprised here?  Anyone?  Let’s see the hand of the guy who actually believed Brett was done?  Now, let’s point and laugh at the guy with his hand up.  Favre unretiring would earn you a whopping 50 Points.

Wide Receiver Overvalues Self

Brandon Marshall is barking again in Denver, telling the team they should trade him.  Hey Brandon… didn’t anyone tell you that such behavior will earn our players 3o Points?

Rex Ryan Talks Smack

Rookie Head Coach Rex Ryan–a guy who has yet to win a single NFL game–talked a bit of smack about Bill Belicheck, who has won… you know… a few games here and there.  Taunting another team’s players or coaches is good for 30 Points.

A lot more than just that happened the last few days, but I’m exhausted from writing those tiny blurbs.

Remember to tell your friends.  We have about 2 weeks left before our PQE’s actually count and you start earning points.  And we’ve decided not to close the registration for now… meaning players can still sign up and start playing even after the season is underway (hey, they could hit the jackpot with the right player and still beat teams that were in on the whole season).

Posted by: commissioner | August 11, 2009

This Week In Fantasy Unsports Points

Fantasy UnSports season will start the first week of September, but there are already players committing point-qualifying events… giving us a glimpse into what our season might look like.  Here’s a bit of a round up of such players:

Michael Crabtree. He’s a holdout… 20 points.  He also might sit out the entire year and get drafted again because he feels he should make more money than a guy drafted higher than him.  He’s off to a wonderfully delusional start, isn’t he?

Tom Brady. He was on Entourage this past Sunday… 30 points.  Did pretty well for a guy who doesn’t act much.

Josh Hamilton (honorable mention).  Too bad baseball players can’t earn you some points in Fantasy UnSports, because Hamilton would have netted you at least 40 or 50 points this week.  Photos surfaced of him partying it up in a nightclub with some ladies who aren’t his wife.  Oops.

Hey guys… tell your friends about us.  This is a free game to play, and we’ve got about 20 days until the season starts… and I’d like to get some more teams in here.  Thanks!

Posted by: commissioner | July 30, 2009

T.O. Breakfast Cereal Forces New Point Qualifying Event

toT.O. actually surprised me today, by having a breakfast cereal named after him. They’re called “T.O.’s Honey Toasted Oats.”  Yum!

Whoops… there’s something I forgot to include on the point-qualifying-events list.

I have now added “Athlete has packaged food product named after them – 35 Points” to the list on the Points page.  That ought to cover cereal, cookies, beverages–heck, even all-beef hot dogs.

I hate when T.O. does something I don’t expect, because he’s generally predictable in his unpredictability.

Posted by: commissioner | July 29, 2009

NFLers About To Earn You Points

plaxAny day now a couple NFL players are going to earn points for their fantasy unsports squad–or, rather, they would if the season was already started.

Plaxico Burress is before a grand jury today on his gun charges.  Conventional wisdom says he’s going to end up with some sort of jail time sentence, which would earn a whopping 40 points.

Over on the other coast, new draft pick Michael Crabtree of the 49ers is holding out.  He wants a lot of money, which is rare for a professional athlete.  He earns 20 points if he’s not in camp on the first day.  If he holds out past the regular season’s start, which is unlikely, it’ll be 30.

Posted by: commissioner | July 28, 2009

Reggie Bush Drops Reality Star – 15 Points

kimReggie Bush has broken up with Kim Kardashian.  Or, she broke up with him.

Honestly, do you really care about the details?

The point is that an underachieving running back is now single again.  Let me see… do I think that’s going to help him focus this year or make him more distracted?  Tough call.  Lots of pretty ladies in New Orleans.

Regardless, if the season was going strong, and Bush was on your squad, you’d be 15 points richer right now.  See, profiting off the misery of others can be fun!

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